February 2008      Are all of your friends drooling over their boyfriends? Stuttering when their guys walk by? Fantasizing about roses and candy and love notes? Ag. It’s that time of the year again: Valentine’s Day! The day when Hershey sells enough chocolate Kisses to fill the state of Rhode Island and Hallmark spouts off more insipid love poems than Cupid himself. And, of course, the day when, if you don’t have a sweetie, you know you: will never find a boyfriend, are destined for a lifetime of loneliness, might as well throw in the love towel and just join a nunnery/go to a women’s college/join the peace corps already. One of my happiest Valentine’s Days was spent completely and totally boy-free. I grew up with a single mom, and Valentine’s Day of my junior year in high school I came down to breakfast and there was a cluster of presents on my plate, all wrapped in pink and red paper. I don’t remember what they were — probably a lip gloss, some chocolate, a book or two. But it was such a sweet, considerate surprise, done so carefully and with so much style on my mom’s part, that I went through the day completely happy, despite my single status. So don’t forget your family and friends on Valentine's day — because it's all about showing the love, wherever you find it! One of my worst-ever Valentine’s Days was spent with a boyfriend I was madly in love with. We were both students, and had been going out since November. He collected antique alarm clocks, and for V-Day I had searched the vintage shops until I found a gorgeous one. I gave it to him in the morning, and he stuttered and stammered and said he had a present for me, but he’d have to give it to me that night. He came over to my house later, went into my bedroom, then came out and had me go and look under my pillow. There I found: a used office phone. The kind designed for multiple lines. It was made of wood veneer. The guy had basically gone into his junk closet and taken an unwanted old phone. He hadn’t wrapped it. He hadn’t made a card. We did not live happily ever after — let me just say THAT. Of course, there’s no denying that V-Day can be fun with a boy by your side. Who doesn’t want a little romance in her life? How to Be Bad, my new book with Sarah Mlynowski and Lauren Myracle, is the most romantic book I’ve written by far. (It helped that Sarah and Lauren are experts at writing romance, plus they’re infinitely less cynical and jaded than I am!) The book has two love stories: Brady and Vicks, separated by miles now that he’s gone off to college, are trying to figure out if true love can survive the distance. And Mel and Marco are just taking those delicious first steps from flirtation to romance. But the real heart of the book is the growing bond between three friends—Vicks, Jesse, and Mel—and how they help one another find love, be loved and feel loved. So . . . whether you’re head over heels, looking for love, or just annoyed that all these people are going crazy over a commercial holiday — you can make it a good day for yourself by thinking of what would make the people around you happy. Flowers for your mom? Chocolate ice cream and a chick flick with the girlfriends? Tickets to a big game or a concert for your guy? Really, anything you do will be better than a used office phone — which is my way of saying: Happy Valentine’s Day! Make it good for yourself by making it good for others! Hugs and enough chocolate Kisses to make you satiated but not sorry— Sarah here! And I say, satiated but not sorry? No, no, no. It’s Valentine’s Day. The one day of the entire year when you’re encouraged—make that required—to eat chocolate. Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolates filled with caramel/raspberry cream/pecan centers. I say indulge! The only thing you should feel sorry about is that Chocolate Day (er, I mean Valentine’s Day) isn’t a monthly event. Lauren here. And Sarah, babe, c’mon. If you’re SORRY you ate too much chocolate, then that probably means your belly hurts and your teeth are coated with nasty sugary fungus and you wish you could hit the rewind button. Like the time I ate an entire one-pound bag of Valentine’s M&M’s. That really was too much. But I hear ya: You’re saying, “Indulge and don’t feel guilty,” right? I’m all for that. But I also hear Emily when she says, “Don’t eat so much that you want to puke!” But what I really want to say— (Sarah again.) Sorry? Did you say something? I’m way too distracted by the idea of making Chocolate Day a monthly event to concentrate. I hereby declare the fourteenth of every month Chocolate Day! Ooo, maybe we should do it semi-monthly! On the first and the fourteenth! Yay! Or maybe . . . weekly? Saturdays could be celebrated with chocolate. Although Mondays could certainly use some chocolate love . . . and let’s not forget Wednesdays . . . (Lauren again.) Ahem. (Clears throat.) What I *really* want to say is this: Emily, your clock/phone story made me deflate in my heart, because it’s so awful and FAMILIAR. (Why do we girls so often give our love to those who don’t deserve it?) But there are fabulous guys out there for sure, loyal and true and sweet. Like Marco! Like Brady! And like my high school boyfriend, who one Valentine’s Day took a bendy heart with arms and legs and attached a picture of his head on top. He snuck it into my coat pocket when I wasn’t paying attention, and later on, in history class, I discovered it and smiled and smiled. So just remember, my darlings: A true Valentine will lift you up, not bring you down. Mwah!